did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
