just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
