If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize