there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
