Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
