the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
