sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
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Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
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Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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