I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
