Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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