Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
