I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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