If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Is it penis luge time yet?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
