The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
God, I missed his penis.
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