The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
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