they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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