My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
