Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
