I seem to have left my pride at pride
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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