so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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