im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
