i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
