i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
God, you're like boner-b-gone
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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