Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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