I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
