Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
