they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
