We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
