real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
