I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She told me I should be a condom model.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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