i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
