Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
