the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
