We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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