Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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