he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize