Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
