i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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