she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize