I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
