i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize