West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
