I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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