Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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