Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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