try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
