If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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