I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
