the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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