you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
