just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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