Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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