I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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