Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
