yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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