Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
