I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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